What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

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Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Have you ever had a scary dream about a loved one or friend soon after their death?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What! how could you do that?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

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What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Do you know what she said mum?

Why do programmers choose to write their own code instead of using code that is already available online?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What do you mean son?

True - how I loved my mum!

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Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?